Information still clear as mud. However I found this. It basically says that anything sent via the postal service is charged VAT (and applicable duties) at the border but that the postal service is not permitted to add any extra fees. This means that there will be no unexpected 'import charges' such as you might expect with couriers.
Regarding courier packages - the aggregate service that I use, has made it possible to pay the VAT in advance with the cost of postage. So there are two things to take away here.
1. For the time being, small orders will be sent to the EU using the postal service as usual. These packages will have VAT added at the border. As all our items originate in the EU or the UK, then there should be no duties payable.
2. For larger orders over 2kg in weight where we use a courier, the VAT will be paid this end with the postal charge. I have set our postal options to reflect the extra charge and will refund any excess paid via your payment method.
On behalf of the potato heads in the UK who voted for this utter mess, I apologise. Our country is broken and now we are all trapped here!